Respected
gospel star Kirk
Franklin revealed his X-rated secret on The Oprah Winfrey
Show — he was once addicted to pornography. The lyrics
to Let It Go on the album Hero
tell of his struggle: "I never had a chance to dream,
10 years old and finding love in dirty magazines. Miss December,
you remember, I bought you twice. Now I'm 30-plus and still
paying the price."
"Growing up, everybody's got a friend that's got that
big brother that has the stash of porn under the bed,"
Kirk said. "From my first look, I was hooked." Kirk
thought marriage would cure his obsession with pornography;
that's when he started realizing how much it was an addiction.
He found himself sneaking to watch videos while his wife was
sleeping, craving porn more than ever. He once felt so much
self-disgust over his porn collection that he drove far away
to ditch it. "I tried to go to sleep that night and it
was literally like a drug calling me," he remembers.
"About 3 or 4 in the morning, in my flip-flops and boxers,
I got in my car and drove back to that dumpster and dug looking
for my porn." |
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 Kirk
Franklin |
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 It is unrealistic, in my opinion, to expect good Christian men not to experience some sexual temptation. But many of them out there believe that just because they're tempted, that somehow, they've sinned. — Archibald Hart |
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Kirk
says he has worked hard to overcome his addiction. After years
of "feeling like a hypocrite," he now considers
himself free of his addiction. His relapses became fewer and
farther between, and now, with the support of his wife, he
says he's been "clean" for more than five years.
Many men struggle with a secret obsession; they are trapped
by an addiction to pornography. The Internet means that they
no longer need to sneak off to run down parts of town to get
their guilty pleasures, but can access any conceivable fetish
in their own home. Often what starts as prurient curiosity
can quickly draw someone to harder and harder material. Once
trapped, embarrassment and guilt stops men from seeking help.
Where can they turn if they want to escape the stranglehold
of porn that is ruining their lives, careers and relationships? |
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In
recent interviews, rapper Kanye
West has admitted that he too suffers from an addiction
to porn. He remembers first seeing his father's Playboy magazine
when he was 5 years old. "It was like, 'Houston, we have
a problem.' My only drug is porn. I have porn with me all
the time." |
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Porn
producers claim that pornography is big business.
Baseless statistics are used to fool people into believing
that porn is mainstream and perfectly acceptable. However
research suggests that porn is not the
big earner that many claim it is. If
your life is being controlled by sexual desires and activities,
instead of you being in control of them, then you have a sexual
addiction. Far and away the largest group of men who are
dealing with sexual addiction are dealing specifically with
Internet pornography addiction.
The best predictor of those who are most likely to look at online porn is the number of hours they spend online. A study found that men who spend a lot of time on the Internet are much more likely to click on sexually explicit spam, unsolicited email, and pop-ups advertising sex sites. The research found that men have more positive attitudes towards online sexual content than women, and are more likely to explore unsolicited emails and pop-ups. |
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Tools
that helps many in their struggle with online pornography
are accountability and filtering software. Ultimately,
the best way to deal with an addiction to pornography is
to tackle the problem rather than the symptoms. There are also several books on the subject of addiction
to pornography, some of which are featured at the bottom
of the page. |
|
| Product |
Type |
Advantages |
Disadvantages |
| X3Watch |
Accountability
software |
Free
Encourages you not to access questionable material by making
you accountable |
Can be
switched off (but it will report this) |
| Covenant
Eyes |
Accountability
software |
Can’t
be switched off
Better list of questionable sites than X3Watch
|
Not free |
| ContentWatch |
Internet
filter |
Stops
you accessing undesirable content
Helps protect children from being solicited online |
Not free
Does not build up willpower |
| Pure
Online |
30-day
online workshop |
Attempts
to tackle the root cause, not just the symptoms
Should help in all aspects, not just Internet porn |
Takes
commitment and willpower
Not free |
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Got something to say? Please share your comments. |
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The
Game Plan: The Men's 30-Day Strategy for Attaining Sexual
Integrity
Men
everywhere are under attack — your neighbor, your
coworker, your pastor, even your husband. And, even in Christian
homes, 40% of men have fallen to this foe that can destroy
marriages and ruin lives. Who is this devastating adversary?
Pornography. It floods our airwaves and PCs, assaulting
the senses, and luring its prey to return again and again.
Drawing from seventeen years of counseling practice, and
using material that he's taught for more than ten years,
Joe Dallas is helping readers face this enemy. Equipping
those who have been caught up in pornography or other forms
of sexual sin with the ability to abandon that behavior
and never return. Using the acronym ROUTE — Repentance,
Order, Understanding, Training, and Endurance — Dallas
walks readers through the steps necessary to attain —
and maintain — sexual integrity.
  USA UK |
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I
Surrender All: Rebuilding A Marriage Broken By Pornography
Contemporary
Christian singer Clay Crosse shares his journey as a performer
whose 1994 number-one hit, "I Surrender All," captured
the attention of the Christian music scene as he secretly
battled a consuming addiction to pornography. Crosse tells
how a mysterious throat ailment stopped him cold, causing
his financial world to tip precariously, and bringing the
realization that the road he was traveling was surely going
to end in the demise of his marriage, crushing both his faith
and his career. Telling his sobering story, Crosse takes turns
with wife, Renee, as they candidly reveal the desperate condition
to which their spiritual and marital lives had deteriorated
before Crosse acknowledged his addiction. After he confessed
that he would have had sex with any woman who offered, Crosse
and his wife started a harrowing journey toward building a
relationship characterized by trust and accountability.
USA UK |
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Treating
Pornography Addiction: The Essential Tools for Recovery
It
is estimated that roughly 10% of all people involved in pornography
become addicted. Many others who are not addicted have a difficult
time quitting. If you or someone you know is trying to stop
viewing pornography this book can provide the roadmap to begin
recovery. It carefully walks someone struggling with pornography
through the steps to recovery, beginning with how pornography
becomes a problem in the mind and how it becomes addictive.
Then it teaches the reader how to rewrite the patterns in
the mind. It closes with the key steps of recovery. You will
find real life stories, examples of how to use the tools presented,
and over 40 assignments which will provoke new thoughts and
ideas in your mind. The principles taught in this workbook
are effective and can help you win your personal battle with
pornography. You don't have to fight this battle alone. The
information found in this workbook has helped many others
and can help you. Get started today.
USA UK |
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Hero:
Kirk Franklin
Kirk
Franklin, the gospel music innovator has, once again, raised
the bar with this new album. Hero features a host of musical
all-stars including musical genius Stevie Wonder, Yolanda
Adams, Sheila E, Dorinda Clark-Cole, tobyMac, Tye Tribbett,
J. Moss and POD’s Sonny Sandoval among others. With
the release of Hero, Franklin steps to the next level in his
remarkable career and remains in the forefront of influencing
future generations with his inspiring and timeless gospel
message. In addition to the first single, “Looking For
You,” a signature hype record — featuring the
classic Patrice Rushen sample “Looking For You”
— that Kirk’s fans have come to love and expect
from him, the CD includes the title track, “Hero,”
which chronicles the journey of mankind from destitution and
depravity to redemption and restoration.
USA UK |
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When
I bought my new computer I was pleasantly surprised to find
that it came with a webcam. The novelty quickly wore off,
and it was soon packed away. However, it now appears that
webcams are posing a danger to unsuspecting teenagers.
Webcam
Danger: Who's Watching? |
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Young
men have been interested in pictures of naked women since
ancient times; pornographic mosaics have been found in Roman
homes. It comes as no surprise that 21st century boys aren't
using the computer just to play games. In increasing numbers,
they're using it to access X-rated websites.
Young
Men and Web Porn |
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From
the television to the Internet, print media to videos, men
are constantly faced with the assault of sensual images. It
is impossible to avoid such temptations... but, thankfully,
not impossible to rise above them.
Every
Man's Battle |
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Addiction
is a chronic relapsing brain disease. Over 23 million Americans
struggle with addiction, yet fewer than 10 percent are getting
treatment. It's been treated with ignorance. Now it's being
treated with science.
Addiction:
Why can't they just stop? |
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